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Tag: Choice

Where did time go?!
About Ulcerative Colitis · Personal

Where did time go?!

June 11, 2019 shitsandgiggleswithbLeave a comment

Holy smokes guys, How has it literally been just shy of a month?! Time has FLOWN by. I am down to 14 days left of work before the summer holidays (working in a school perks). I knew I had been slacking a bit, but I didn't think a whole darn month had gone by! But… Continue reading Where did time go?!

Tales from a shower cry session
Lifestyle · Personal

Tales from a shower cry session

April 9, 2019April 9, 2019 shitsandgiggleswithbLeave a comment

Two posts in one week, I'm getting a little wild here. But jokes aside, I had a lot of my mind and just feel the need to get it off my chest. Keep in mind, I am super emotionally charged today, so this post may end up not really making sense or having an exact… Continue reading Tales from a shower cry session

All we need is a little love
Lifestyle · Personal

All we need is a little love

April 8, 2019April 8, 2019 shitsandgiggleswithbLeave a comment

YOU GUYS. I have been a little M.I.A hey? So many things have been happening and for once all of them exciting and good. The clinical trial seems to be going well. I even had moments were I didn't poop for over 24 hours. It was the craziest feeling. The first time it happened I… Continue reading All we need is a little love

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The Blogger

20-something year old navigating through her chronic illness. Avid napper, die hard snack fan, and lover of all things scary and related to comics.

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It's the final day of #crohnsandcolitisawarenessweek and I wanted to end it by talking about support systems. Everyone needs one, whether you are sick or not. They play such a huge role in our life and health. Yes, unfortunately you will lose some friendships with an illness. Some relationships are tested, patience's are tried, and limitations are set. In the beginning I felt like a burden, but there are people in my life who reminded me I am far from. • • To my parents, who have always fought for me from the time I was born. Who without them, I would literally not be here. You move mountains for me and have never ever let me forget how loved I am. They have both shown me such different forms of strength and love and I don't think I could ever say thank you enough for all they do and continue to do. They are my foundation. • • To my boyfriend, who has had every opportunity to walk away, but has stayed by my side through everything. Who grounds me, finds a glimmer of humour in some of the toughest situations we've been through, and has supported me so unconditionally. For making me feel beautiful everyday and loving me a little harder on the days I need it the most. • • To my little brother, my very first best friend in life. To the person whom I am so close to in so many ways (and we often get teased about it). To the guy who has helped shape me into who I am today. The one who has the biggest heart and always rushed to my side when I was puking in the basement. Who heard my shower cries probably the most, but never ever let me feel like I was weak. Who supports me day in and day out. • • To all my friends (who could not all be pictured with the 10 photo limit) but that I am so grateful for. For extending such patience with me and being there through it all. For giving me words of wisdom, encouragement, and celebrating ALL of my milestones. For never allowing me to feel like a burden. For being there during my darkest moments and still holding your hands out to help me up. To choose day in and day out to be by my side is a gratitude I cant begin to explain. • • You are the people you surround yourself with, so choose wisely 🌻
For #crohnsandcolitisawarenessweek let's talk about anxiety, because guys it can really suck. In the midst of my #ulcerativecolitis journey, my mental health really took a toll. I had experienced aspect of depression, but anxiety was something I had only studied about. Then one day, while I was driving home on the henday I got hit with a panic attack. Now, I've never had a panic attack so I had no clue initially what was going on. As I pulled over to the side and tried to calm myself down, I thought "am I dying or is this anxiety?" I guess lucky me, it was the latter. But as I mentioned my experience to my nurse practitioner she just responded "oh yeah it's all part of the process" as if this was normal. This blew my mind because not once had anyone told me that anxiety was part of this package. • • • Anxiety is something I'm still learning how to cope with. Some times I have it figured out and other times not so much. I remember studying anxiety and often hearing the phrase " anxiety is lying to you" and I thought oh yeah this is totally true. But now being on the other side experiencing it, I realized it's not entirely true. Sometimes our anxiety is a message to ourselves that something is off and it can allow us to slow down and pay attention when we know how to better manage it. It tells us where our boundaries and comfort zones are. It's then just figuring out what's a good worry and what is rumination. So don't always believe that your anxiety is lying to you, instead maybe look at it as your mind's way of telling you something. Sit with it, examine it, and then decide what your next step can look like. Right now I'm trying to learn how to lean into my discomfort and learn something from it. Stay tuned to how this turns out!
PSA the last two photos are a little more graphic *** • • • Did you know it is #crohnsandcolitisawarenessweek ? And just in time because the government is thinking about messing with our meds. • • 3 years ago I was a completely different person. I was excited for just getting accepted into grad school, I had just gotten a new job, and had celebrated 1 year with my boyfriend. I felt like I was in my PRIME. BUT life said "nah girl" and I was then graced with ulcerative colitis. This journey fucking rocked me. I was told it wouldn't be hard to get under control, I was mild to moderate, wouldn't even need steroids. Steroids and I became BFFs during this journey. I dont think I went longer than 4 months not being on it. I went through 13 different treatment plans in 3 years, was in and out of my doctors office, had blood work every other week, my pharmacist knew me by name, I had to consider taking loans from my parents so I could afford my meds and school, I went to the emerg more often than I had in my entire life, and my mental health tanked. I felt like I was so far from the person I was before I got sick, and it sucked. I felt like I lost my identity because I was just the sick girl. I went from being not sick enough to being so sick that everything was a matter of urgency to avoid going into surgery or worse. My life became ulcerative colitis. Or at least that's how I saw it. I see it differently now. I will always have this, but I'm in a better place now. I can live life, it just looks different. But I went through hell to get here. I fought hard to get here. I had people behind me fighting to get here. I tried everything I could to get here. I didn't ask for this, but I didn't want it to define my life. And I found something that worked. I JUST found something. I'm not even in remission yet. And now the government wants to step in and ask people who have fought so hard to get where they are to stop what's working and try something that MIGHT work. But at what cost? Can you put a price on our future and livelihood? • • Last 2 pics: of my colon w/ ulcers & inflamed & the other is a mild example of what it's like passing blood
Oh hey it's my face, telling you to have a magical Sunday ❄ • • It's a bit surreal to me that this is the best I have felt in 3 years. 3 years ago I was so unsure of what was happening with me and how I could even begin to help myself. I was in denial that anything was wrong & thought if I just pretended it wasnt there, one day it would just be gone. I was angry, anxious, depressed and just felt like everything was so unfair. But despite it all I am a better person. I am stronger, wiser, and I think more humble. I have this new appreciation and zest for life. I constantly feel inspired by so much around me and have these blissful ah-ha moments. I have pushed myself in ways I didn't think I could. Things are coming around full circle and I'm finally making peace with my past. Now it's time to focus on the present & future and find a way to be more okay with this new normal. Here is to hopefully a healthier chapter in my journey 🌻

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