Hello, It’s Me

Well hello world, it has been a long long time since we have ventured over here to this blog.

I made it back from Europe, I do promise you that. I’m really sorry I was away from here for so long. Life just kind of got away from me. Europe was a whirl wind and then I came home and got right back into my everyday life and now here we are two months later.

Alright let’s start with updates:

1. I went to Europe and survived! I didn’t even need prednisone. This isn’t to say there weren’t some days that were hard. I have learnt heat and I don’t see eye to eye still. It was an average temperature of 30 degrees most of our travels, which was insane. Our time in Croatia was like an average of 34-36 degrees. It made it so hard to go sightseeing. But we did it, I fell in love all over again with travelling, and I was just in bliss. I forgot how much I loved travelling and what it actually felt like to travel not sick. And you guys! The food! I ate WHATEVER I wanted and not once did I get sick as a result of trigger foods. Alcohol was a different story, but food! It was so liberating to eat an entire meal and not feel bloated, gasy, nauseous, or all of the above. I’m really hoping that this good trend continues and soon I will get to go back.
   

   At the airport with my brother getting ready to leave

   

   Krks Waterfalls in Croatia

   

   Croatia
2. Still seem to be holding up strong physically! I will get a flare up from time to time with stress or eating something I shouldn’t have, but more and more I am seeing consistent good days rather then days where I should get a medal for participating in life. I had my last check up in September and bloodwork is looking good, vitals are well, and I feel good. Even after walking 10+ hours a day in Europe, I still managed to stay above 100 pounds! It’s just all so new and exciting and probably why I have been M.I.A. A part of me feels like one day I will wake up and it will be gone, so I have just been trying to enjoy life as much as possible while it’s still good (but also trying to work on that thing called balance).
3. I did catch a cold that seems to be lingering. We are on week 2 and the cough is what’s getting to me. I was told to wait up to 4 weeks and if I still had it then to go in, but idk. When you are coughing until you almost puke, doesn’t that warrant going in sooner?
4. Mentally, I am spent. My anxiety has been much better as of late, but I do still find my mind will wander to scary dark corners of my thoughts. Before we left, I was convinced EVERYDAY that somehow we were going to die on this trip. It was so NOT rational, but I couldn’t make my brain shut up. It got so bad that on the day we left, I felt terrified and so stressed that of course I caused my body do have stress poops and my bowels were unimpressed. But we survived, I proved my brain wrong, and here we are. It’s something I am trying really hard to work on. Practice what I preach. But idk. It’s also really knew. I was the rational and calm person in a scenario. I was the support person for my friends suffering with anxiety. And now I am on the other side struggling to get to a better place. But I am getting better. I have yet to have an anxiety attack since I have been back. For the most part right now, it has been dealing with stress, which I will get into in my next point.
5. I started my practicum! The day has finally come where I am now practicing to be a counsellor and it’s surreal and terrifying all at the same time. And so god damn stressful. Life still happens, which means that I still need to work. Luckily, the school district found me a part time position, but it leaves me working 10 hour days 3 days a week between work and my practicum and then still working the other two days. In addition, I still have an actual class with assignments and weekly discussions to complete as well. It’s a lot, and I don’t think I have actually worked out the entire balance out yet, considering I seem to just be perpetually tired throughout the week and use my weekend to get any semblance of recharging.

   

So yeah, it’s been much of the same but still different. I’m still learning how to live my new normal, but I am living life and it’s been all really exciting. I am so grateful that I have gotten to this point and continue to grow and get better most days. I’m so lucky to have the support system I do in my life. I know one day I will even look back at myself today and see how far I have come, and that’s really exciting. We still have so much to push forward through, but everyday we are getting a little closer to where I am supposed to be.

Amsterdam

Vienna

But of course now being on here I of course need to be more diligent of updating, and I will seriously try. But somedays vegging out on the couch and watching Netflix or listening to an audiobook wins, and I am starting to learn that I also shouldn’t feel sorry for that.

Terry Fox run we did when I returned

My girls

Until next time,

Bee.